


Friends With Benefits

by kaliebee



Series: Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Friends With Benefits, a bit ooc on jj's behalf but yeah, angsty jj, jj/reader - Freeform, poor jj fell in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 13:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12772386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaliebee/pseuds/kaliebee
Summary: The two of you freeze as the words leave JJ’s lips: “I love you.” You’d just been having a nice time cuddling on your couch, taking shots every once in awhile, kissing frequently when she’d spit it out. There was no lead up, nothing to alert you that she was going to reveal she loved you. In fact, by the deer-in-headlights look she’s giving you right now, you can easily guess that she didn’t even realize she was going to say it.Your voice cracks as you say, “Um… what?” as if there’s any way you could’ve heard wrong. There isn’t, but that doesn’t stop you from hoping that you could have.





	Friends With Benefits

You honestly couldn’t be sure when this all started.

First you’d been joking, flirting with JJ when you wanted to get out some extra paperwork and she was finished. And then suddenly it hadn’t been a joke anymore and you meant everything you were saying and she was flirting back. And suddenly you were holding hands in the car and exchanging kisses when she dropped you off at home and occasionally bringing her inside when Will had the boys and it was a thing.

Except you weren’t in a relationship.

You did all the things normally required in a relationship, you just weren’t official, you could say. And strangely enough, you were perfectly fine with that. It meant that after work you and JJ could kiss and hold hands and be sweet and on weekends you could go out with someone different. You’d actively have conversations with JJ about both of your prospective dates and then end up making-out for an hour afterwards. It was perfect.

That is, until this precise moment.

The two of you freeze as the words leave JJ’s lips: “I love you.” You’d just been having a nice time cuddling on your couch, taking shots every once in awhile, kissing frequently when she’d spit it out. There was no lead up, nothing to alert you that she was going to reveal she loved you. In fact, by the deer-in-headlights look she’s giving you right now, you can easily guess that she didn’t even realize she was going to say it.

Your voice cracks as you say, “Um… what?” as if there’s any way you could’ve heard wrong. There isn’t, but that doesn’t stop you from hoping that you could have.

JJ bites her lip, looks down at your entwined hands. “I- I love you.”

“Oh.”

It’s happening too fast. You never prepared yourself for the idea that this could’ve meant more to her than you. Though maybe you should’ve seen the signs: she’d seemed more uncomfortable lately when you’d talk about your other dates, she hadn’t been on any herself in almost three months, she’d been kissing you more often in public. You were a profiler for god’s sake! How did you not see the signs?

You breathe out slowly, leaning against the arm of the couch. Your hand feels like it’s burning in hers but if you pull away now it might make matters worse. “JJ… I like you, but… Look, I thought we were both going into this knowing that a relationship was out of the question.”

“We did- I did. It’s not like I meant to fall in love with you, Y/N. It just happened like we did, on accident.”

“I don’t love you back though,” you say bluntly, trying to ignore the way she flinches at the words. Honesty is the best policy at this point, even if it hurts her. You can’t let her believe there’s a chance that there can be a relationship if there’s no way in hell you’ll ever let that happen.

She purses her lips, doesn’t bother to disguise the bitterness in her voice. “I know. You’ve made it painfully obvious.”

“Hey, it’s not my-”

“Yes, I know it’s not your fault and that’s the most frustrating part! Neither of us can control how we feel and it sucks because I still want you but you don’t want me back.” JJ yanks her hand out of yours violently, tears beginning to bubble up in her eyes.

You feel like you’ve been suckerpunched.

“You think I don’t want you?” You question gently, moving just the slightest bit closer. Your knee could almost touch her thigh from here.

She glowers at you. “Don’t, Y/N. We both know now that you want nothing to do with me now that you know. Please,” her voice cracks, “don’t mess with my feelings.”

You’re quiet, mind whirring. Everything in you tells you to let her go, allow her to get over you, to move on. But the other part of you doesn’t want to lose her, this woman who loves you even if you don’t love her.

“We could keep this going.”

Her fingers freeze where she’s been messing with them as she looks up at you, eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

You clear your throat, awkwardly run your hand through your hair. “I can’t commit to a relationship, but… I don’t want what we have to stop. I’d prefer to keep this going, but if you can’t, I understand.”

She doesn’t hesitate, cupping your cheek and pressing her lips to yours. “I’ll take what I can get.”

And if you have to get to used to pretending you don’t hear her whispering, “I love you I love you I love you,” into your chest as she climaxes, then so be it.


End file.
